Age Old Questions Have Simple Answers.

Why are we here? To create!

It is fun to create. When humans create they are filled with love. Evey human on this earth has the capacity to create and therefore the capacity to love. Only life can create. Mass or matter is simply there it can do nothing without life. Anything that has been created must come from something that has life, it is that simple.

Made some progress yesterday!

Yesterday was a good day. I applied for a job as tech support for various subjects including my favorite, computers. Interviewing was quite a long process ending in a real time test of real problems to solve, but I am sure I aced it. I will find out the results in a few days as the transcripts are reviewed by several people. The only issue is that I was still a little sick so it affected my voice. Hopfully when you call Dell or the like for assistance you will have a chance that I will get the call.

The halfway house I am in is real big about finding a job so you can imagine the look on the house managers face when I wired the entire block for wireless internet and told him I would be working from my room! His response was "No shit, can anyone do that?" and now I may get a side gig teaching computer troubleshooting to the other recovering fellas in the house. I bet I would be the first to convert a halfway house into a help-desk/recovery house..oO!

Last night was the first time using crossed my mind since leaving NLL. Stress was mounting when my wife told my she had a meeting with a divorce attorney about 10 minutes before I had to take my test. It was just a fleeting thought and craving. That sick part of my mind that said this would be a lot easier with a little something to drink. I did not even come close to acting on it but it was a scary reminder that my little demon is still there waiting for a weak moment to take over again. So I did what I was taught and went to a meeting and talked to my sponsor. The demon went to sleep. Thank you Mille, Doug and everyone at NLL for it was your voices I heard saying "Drag your ass to a meeting!". Kind of strange really because it was Doug's saying but Millie's voice in my head. You people brainwashed me!

Talk to ya later!
Jim Jarman

Three days out and doing great!

I just built this blog today and will send a link to those whom have known email addresses. The goal is to get this blog address into everyone's hands before they leave the Lodge. This can turn into a powerful tool allowing us to stay in contact, meet new people in recovery and, most importantly, one more resource to help in our battle against addiction. The only counselor I am able to send this to is Mille so if she approves of this blog hopefully she can help get this into patients hands before they are discharged. I will also be attending the Alumni night on Friday, November 12th and will give this information out if I am allowed.

As for me I am in a halfway house in Cookeville, TN and everything is going very well. My wife still intends on getting a divorce....that really sucks. It is, after all, her choice and out of my control so whatever happens is the way it should be. I have made all my meetings and found a temporary sponsor at a group I seem to enjoy.

Crazy as it sounds I really miss The Lodge. The time I spent there went very fast and the saying "Accept life on life's terms" hits hard and fast once you are standing at the bottom of the mountain of crap you leave in your wake during active addiction. An old saying came to mind while thinking about all I have destroyed...How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time just like anything else. Every time I chip away at that mountain I will forge it into a shovel until eventually my shovel is so damned large and tough that the mountain won't stand a chance!

Fight the good fight, I'll be seeing ya!

Jim Jarman